The Friend Manual: How to make friends when you're bad at it

One year into my blog, and I’ve finally figured out what it’s about.

My new blog thesis is: My relationship to friendship itself will improve if I examine it my way.

“My way” means that I use my typical approach for breaking down and learning things and use my language and type them up the way that I see them without trying to make them universally true. My way is specific to me. Other people my find value in some things and find others baffling, but to me they will make sense and be true.

My way includes:

• Tearing things apart, seeing what makes them tick, and putting them back together
• Flow charts, process diagrams, visual maps
• Finding the unspoken rules and heuristics (mental shortcuts)
• Isomorphisms (where the rules of one system give novel insight to another)
• Iteration
• Humor
• Comic drawings
• Metaphors and abstraction
• Other duties as assigned

Indicators of success may include:

• Decreased cognitive dissonance around friendship
• Improved quality of life
• Clarity of friendship goals
• Continued engagement with the blog
• Increased enjoyment of social activities
• Clarity around who fits where in friendship portfolio and how to expand it
• Increased satisfaction with friendships

One year in and I’m already seeing some headway on these results. But it helps me to have clarity, because it’s always been a bit of a shot in the dark or a shot across the bow of the friendship ship or some other better metaphor.

*I reserve the right to change this at any time because I am a fickle monster.