Meetups! Is this stress bomb worth it?

I’ve started a new Meetup for arty people.

It’s scary to put myself out there.

It’s a bit of a weird Meetup with a lot of planning and thought on my part. I’ve been energized and excited to do this new venture and to meet new people because life has been feeling stagnant lately.

Meetups are an odd bird. I am paying for a service to invite people to my free events. So, I am the customer for Meetup. People who sign up for free events think they are the customer for my events, so they approach it as something that should be designed for them and expect the same level of services as actual companies.

I’ve been on both sides of the equation.

But with the constant competition between event apps, and the continual reposition of the platform to be used by larger companies that flood the feeds with “live” webinars, the pressure on Meetup planners to provide more bespoke events continues to mount.

This is all me overintellectualizing the fact that I opened my Meetup app today to find that there are reviews of my last event (GASP!). AND that they are not perfect. OH NO!

This invites my perfectionism monster over for tea and a two week stay inside my head, rent-free.

What does this have to do with friendship?

For all of my writing about events, I haven’t even scratched the surface of how to manage with the stress and expectations of hosting events. When you host a series of events, like a Meetup, it’s hard not to take everything personally. If people don’t sign up, then they don’t like my ideas. If they do show up, maybe they won’t like my style. If they leave a negative review or don’t come back for another one, then they don’t like me.

Not everyone will like me. Some people will not think my meetup is clever and fun. Other people may just not like weeknight meetups with drawing even though they thought they would. Maybe they signed up for the first and then their life was busy forever after. Maybe their dog died.

Meeting strangers is a numbers game and my ego is not built for numbers games. So that means I have to focus on what I want to get out of the Meetup. And as long as I am getting that out of it, then I am should keep trucking along.

What are my goals/values for this Meetup?

Fun note about tailoring goals to friendship goals: I originally wrote this list, and then realized it was all very impersonal and my goals were isolated to me. So, I had to redraft them and add components of socializing, interaction, and the “why” of everything.

Friendship goals

I wanted to be able to do creative art exercises that I read about in books recently that sound exciting and fun – because I wanted the experience I read about with people in a room doing creative experiments
I really missed being able to be in a room doing art with people, but I wanted a different experience than I saw offered
I want to have more spaces where I can show up authentically instead of people pleasing/contorting myself into someone else – and where I maybe make new friends who value these traits
I want to experience the feeling of researching and creating and sharing with others – because this is one of my platonic love languages
I want to do in person events that prioritize working together and interacting as you can only do in person

Aspirational / Life Goals

I really like planning and researching and leading interesting design thinking-style experiences that start one place and lead you to a completely different one through experience
I have a theory that I can turn these Meetup events into a class that I could teach for a long time as a side hustle

Non-negotiable goals

I want to still feel good about myself at the end of the day

As long as I can meet some or most of these, then I should keep going.