A post that’s part of the series: “How to ask for help when you’re bad at it.”
I’ve already discussed that having to ask for help means that you’re probably vulnerable. And, sometimes, you have to ask for help for something that’s scary or stressful.
When I’m scared and stressed, social niceties are about as easy as Olympic-level gymnastics routines. Here’s a fun little scenario from just a week ago. I have had to take many different medical tests in the past few weeks and I thought the MRI wasn’t going to be great, but also that it wasn’t going to be as bad as it turned out to be. The one thing the test confirmed is that I do, in fact, have claustrophobia and that I can’t just imagine all the bumping and whirring is a crappy rave for more than 30 seconds at a time.
So, I spent 30 mins in the waiting room increasing freaking out and then 30 minutes or a million years (depending on your perception of time) like this:
Then, they pull me out of the MRI tube, tell me it’s normal to be dizzy and send me off with my brain jolted into a thousand different positions, nauseated, and unable to understand anything that’s going on.
My mom had graciously brought me to the clinic, didn’t react much to my freaking out and then was super concerned about the damn mess that walked out of the MRI test. She was being super supportive (objectively true), and I, like a wonderful, functional, adultified person was gracious and kind and accepting of her help…
Hmmm…wait it happened more like this.
Yep, I was a turd.
But sometimes, you just can’t not be a turd.
And it’s ok.
Just try to limit the damage and when you come off your dysregulation high, say thank you and I’m sorry (if needed) sincerely.
What I wish I had done
I wish I had been in a state of mind to discuss beforehand how to handle me when I am in that kind of state. I think having a checklist on “how to handle me when stress is at 100%” is probably a good thing to come up with. It’s different for everyone.
The Friend Manual: How to make friends when you're bad at it 