The Friend Manual: How to make friends when you're bad at it

You can’t ask
why didn’t you choose me
and get an answer 
that will fix that feeling.

In friendship, there are 
things you can’t 
say. Like I know
I am on your B list

or maybe not even B
may be on the if only
there’s an emergency like
too many chairs.

Those lists don’t exist
we say, but it’s only
those always on A
that don’t see

the distance between
I choose you
and you are a part
of them all, when all

are chosen. All you 
can do is shrug
and try to be more exciting
for the next list.

Side note: What a bummer right? And, oh no! What’s this sad little picture? But really, if you even scratch the surface of friendship, sometimes there’s pain mixed up in there – especially if you’ve been bad at friendship. And this poem opens the space (for me) to say the things that seem to be taboo when discussing friendships. The things that are not rainbows and diagrams and hope. As we are all imperfect, you can only make friends with flawed human beings and be friends as your flawed self.