(and it’s not your fault)
I like to think that I’m able to be 100% when needed. Like, no matter what I can show up and be a good, cool friend. Crises, parties, tapas, watching a movie, or a bitch session.
But really, my 100% is rarely there. I don’t have the reserves to show up 100% when the stars aren’t perfectly aligned (which astronomy tells us is rare).
Sometimes I’m too in my own stuff to be able to be in my friend’s stuff.
And, sometimes life is just in the way.
And sometimes I feel bad because I’m measuring myself against my friend, who has more energy or bandwidth than I do.
Sometimes it’s not even about me, but about other things in life that need my energy more. Non-negotiable things.
Some people have health stuff.
Or kids.
Or sick pets.
Or work is downsizing.
Or…you get the drift.
Sometimes, it’s within my power to overcome and show up. A lot of times it’s not.
But being honest about it with myself and others makes things better.
That way, other people don’t worry that I don’t like them anymore.
And I don’t worry that I don’t like me anymore because I can’t be the friend I want to be today, or this week, or this year.
It’s easier to adapt when you have a handle on what’s going on.
And some days, I’m going to be the best damn 15% friend the world has ever seen!
The Friend Manual: How to make friends when you're bad at it 