Category: Concepts
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Friend energy is not consistent
(and it’s not your fault) I like to think that I’m able to be 100% when needed. Like, no matter what I can show up and be a good, cool friend. Crises, parties, tapas, watching a movie, or a bitch session. But really, my 100% is rarely there. I don’t…
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Toxic Productivity Syndrome
I’ve been trying to figure out what led to my extreme burnout and I think that this might be part of it. I’m someone who takes on too much stress and holds onto it as a sort of badge of honor. So, here is my take on it using logic…
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The Butterfly Journal – How to Right-Size Cognitive Dissonance
Disclaimer, I wrote the first draft of this post in May and didn’t get around to polishing it up until just now. This was before my dog died. It feels…wrong…to takes references to him out. But I am glad this helped me focus more on him in what turned out…
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Clarity re: WTF this blog is about
One year into my blog, and I’ve finally figured out what it’s about. My new blog thesis is: My relationship to friendship itself will improve if I examine it my way. “My way” means that I use my typical approach for breaking down and learning things and use my language…
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Changing by degrees – Part 2: “within acceptable parameters”
Flexibility is a key component to making and keeping friends. What happens when you’re bad at it?
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Radar graphs to understand loneliness and discontent – part 2
This is a continuation from part 1. I’ve broken out this section to talk separately about when I compare myself to different socialization models, and why that can induce false loneliness. Each of the “fights” below indicate logical fallacies that have led me to outsized loneliness and discontent. Me vs.…
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Radar graphs to understand loneliness and discontent – part 1
A quick note on how this is related to friendship. I’ve been thinking of loneliness and discontent as triggers that induce people to contact existing friends and to try new strategies to make friends. The quality of loneliness/discontent and the intensity of the feeling can undermine these efforts if not…
The Friend Manual: How to make friends when you're bad at it 