Category: Uncategorized
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Making friends means you have something to lose
Just a few days after we found out my grandma’s cancer is back and aggressive, one of my dogs went into heart failure and ended up in intensive care. They both are fine for the moment, but they won’t be sometime soon. We’ve always got a ticking clock on us,…
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Right-sized loneliness is…good?
This is my last post on loneliness for a while, but I wanted to close out the topic with some context for myself. I’ll be moving on to other topics! Before I started writing these last few posts, I hadn’t given much thought to loneliness itself. I have felt lonely…
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The opposite of lonely is not-lonely
I find it really helpful to think of complicated problems (such as loneliness) in terms of simple propositional logic. So, I’ll walk you through why the opposite of lonely is actually not-lonely at a very high level. Disclaimer, I am not a math person, so this post may be a…
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Body movement during social activities
Yay! Another quadrants post. For fun, I have set up horizontal and vertical axes to reason out how activities may cause stress in the body by either requiring or inhibiting bodily movement. Why explore this? People who struggle with movement inhibition, may experience more stress at events that have a…
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The Friendship Portfolio
I started to think of friendship like a stock portfolio that can be diversified to control for risk. You’ve got high intensity friendships that are high energy cost and (potential) high return, but also hard to get and maintain, and lower intensity friendships that are require less energy and are…
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Brain-body disconnect in social situations
What is a brain-body conflict? The brain-body conflict happens when social expectations come in direct conflict with my physical/cognitive ability to maintain the social rules of the situation. Often, physical/cognitive limitations and warning signs are ignored out of not wanting to violate a social taboo. Here’s an easy example of…
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Defining ‘friend’ and ‘friendship’
I’ve never been happy with the general definitions of friendship. They lack something tangible, something that can be teased apart to lead to deeper understanding, tweaking, optimizing, and for me – more often than not – fixing. The working title of this blog is “How to make friends when you’re…
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Friendship is hard
Making friends is hard. Keeping friends is harder. What if there was a instruction manual for how friendship works?
The Friend Manual: How to make friends when you're bad at it 